Seminary Student Segment

I leave tomorrow for India and I believe I have what I need, but really can’t predict any more than what I’ve planned for, I guess.  I’m very excited about it and have been praying that my health will be good during and after my stay.  I could easily have too much sun exposure or over-exert myself so that I wind up really sick.  I have no worries about any strange tropical diseases or whatnot, though.

My commissioning for the trip was really cool.  At Vacation Bible School, pastor Chris had some childern volunteer to come up and pray for me during the introductory meeting.  There was one little one in the crowd holding onto just one finger with a fist.  It was so cool to see all these childern praying and sending me off.  It was very special.  I wasn’t sure if it would happen, though, because the week I thought we’d do it, I had the flu and didn’t come.

I bought a digital camera for my trip.  I feel a little guilty about it, but I haven’t had a camera for probably 7 or 8 years.  I also wanted to take more pictures when I was in Nicaragua and really felt a loss in how few pictures I had taken.  I have a memory card that will hold 500 pictures and you can erase ones that accidentally take a photo of the inside of your purse, unlike the two disposable cameras I took to Nicaragua.

I will miss T terribly while I am away.  I talk to him every day.  I will also miss my dog, but probably not as much since we will be hanging out in the country for part of the time and I will see other animals.  My dad may also have surgery while I am away, which I will hate if he does.  Mom thinks it won’t happen until September, though, so I’m trying not to worry about it.

I know this is something I am to do, but I’m having a difficult time just letting go and trusting God to see us through this trip.  And yet, as I write down my doubts, they seem rather silly.  I’m nervous about getting along with so many strangers, but usually, I have very few problems with people.  If I do find someone annoying, usually everyone else does too.  India will be beautiful and life changing, though.  Maybe not completely altering, but I think will solidfy parts of my spiritual walk that I sometimes push asside as unimportant but are really vital.  I’m not sure I really slow down enough to really hang out in God’s presence.  Sometimes, friendships are really solidified those times you hang out and don’t really appear to do much of anything, and maybe my friendship with Jesus needs that too.  I know I’ll learn more from this trip than I will teach others about it or teach others while I am there.

I may get to write something when I am in India, but I don’t really know for sure.  Likely, you won’t hear anything for a couple of weeks.

God Bless,

Penelope

I had a lot of fun yesterday helping out with Vacation Bible School.  I’m a floater, so I go where extra help is needed.  Since there are thirteen to fifteen 4 and 5 year olds, I was there last night.  The night before, I was with the third graders, which was fun too.  The third graders were very bright.  I wanted to record their answers to religous questions and I loved how they corrected each other about Jesus and the bible. 

“No, Jesus had a crown of thorns, not a wreath on his head when he was cruicified.”

“Jesus cured, not a Jaguar, but a Leopard.”

Of course, then an adult did have to step in and say Jesus cured a “leper” not a “leopard” but I’m sure if the jungle cat was wandering around ancient Isreal, then Jesus would also cure a leopard, it’s just people were way more prevelant.  I was really touched when one boy did not know how Jesus died, so that is what prompted the discussion about the crucifixion.  He didn’t think Jesus died at all.  Then the next room (we switch rooms for each activity) He couldn’t wait to tell the next adult how Jesus died on the cross.  It really reinforced the idea that we really teach each other about God; it’s not one super smart esoteric pastor person speaking down to the underlings.  Yeah, sometimes you have to step in and explain what a leper is to a 21st century American audience and how isolated that group of people were from their family and society, but the love of Christ is the hardest and most important lesson of all and can really only be taught by each other.

Some would say I’m an incurable optimist.

The younger kids, the 4 and 5 year olds, they lapped up the extra attention.  They so wanted to be celebrated.  It was humbling to have a shining little face look at you with such pure happiness when you clapped after they jumped in place or you told them their picture was pretty.  One little girl told one of the adults “Jesus lives in my heart” which surprised me that someone so young would understand that intuitively.

I also met with my candidacy mentor yesterday and we talked about how I can teach the congregation how to support me.  It’s difficult for me to ask for help and even to ask for prayer.  In a few churches, they say a regular prayer every Sunday Worship asking for God to help those to discern their call to the ordained ministry.  I think maybe the bishop should encourage all the churches in our conference to pray for that during worship.  We have a pastor shortage now.  Twice as many pastors retire as get ordained every year.  The manditory age for retirement in the United Methodist Church is 70 years old.  If a pastor retires before that time it is because of health problems.  Many pastors are called out of retirement to pastor part time.  With modern medical care, many people can be very productive until their 90s, but is it reasonable to expect someone in their eighties to work as hard as someone in their thirties?  When I went to my first group meeting with the conference about the ordained ministry, they told us to expect to work 70 hours a week as an Elder Pastor.  That is completely unreasonable, especially if you have a spouse, let alone kids.  Maybe during Holy Week (the week leading up to the easter season) or Christmas, or if you have a wedding and two funerals in the same week, which may happen once in ten years, you could work 70 hours, but every week of the year, you would keel over with exhaustion.  I mean, this job is not for wimps, I tell you.  At least I likely won’t have a funeral a week like my cohorts in AIDS affected areas in Africa.

Maybe I’m not exactly an optimist.  I’m optimistic about the work of a beautiful God.  I am optimistic about the people I meet who make up the church, in my denomination and outside of it.  I believe the church, if lived out in the lives of the people who attend, could change the world for the better.  But hiding from reality is not Godly.  The reality is I don’t always live every second the way Jesus would like and neither does anyone else.  That’s where Grace comes in, I guess.

Well, I have to write an essay and try to see a doctor to get anti-malarial meds for my trip to India and I wanted to fit in a haircut, if at all possible, and vaccum my car and pick up a birthday card for my neice and other junk too ordinary to really talk about.

God Bless,

Penelope

I feel very sick.  I rejoiced this morning when I could eat a slice of toast.  I mean, yesterday, I couldn’t keep down water.  I do feel a lot better, though.  I’m actually puttering around.  I have to stop by the church and pick up some paperwork I need for tomorrow.  I’m hoping to get there just as almost everyone is gone so I don’t give them this flu.  People like to hug there, you know.

T had this earlier this week, so he helped me out yesterday by giving me ice and water and ginger ale and peppermint tea.  It drove him crazy, but he still helped anyhow.  I begged him to take me to the hospital, but he just took care of me instead and it turned out I didn’t need to go.  If I stood up, I usually wound up throwing up until about 8pm.  I’m just wiped out today.

Okay, this flu business doesn’t have a lot to do with God, or the church, for that matter.  I will be helping with vacation bible school at First church this coming week for a few days.  I also have a meeting with my mentor this week.  I only work on Saturday of this coming week.  I have to pack for my two week trip to India, which is exciting (the trip, not the packing).  I’m still debating wether or not to keep my job after I come back from my trip because I start school full time and could really only work ten hours a week during the school year, it is very little pay, and it adds something that I have to remember to put into my schedule along with school work and mentor meetings and internship meetings and sermon writing and planning services and finding childern’s sermons and so on.  It might be okay to keep it and I won’t feel completely useless because I’ll actually be getting a salary which can help a tiny bit.

I may actually be able to get another scholarship, although I have to apply.  Writing an essay for the application will be another thing to accomplish this week too.  If I get it, I’ll feel quite a burden lifted because I just don’t have enough money to pay for school, books, eating, and a place to stay, even with the church helping a lot.  I just feel really guilty asking them for any more.  I feel like I’m begging or something and I know others work really hard to earn the money they have.   

Although unrealistic, I hope no one else gets the flu I had yesterday because it is miserable.  I should be back to normal tomorrow, though.  Sleep and actual food should do wonders.

God Bless,

Penelope

Weird week.  I thought it was going to be a slow one.  Silly me.

I was or am on call for pastoral emergencies at Emmanuel UMC.  Rev Stephanie is running a church camp half the week and then will be on a much needed vacation for the rest of the week.  One of the parishioners died on Monday, which is very sad.  A previous Associate Pastor will be doing the funeral on Saturday.  I went to see her, the now deceased woman, and her husband on Monday afternoon.  I prayed and talked to the husband a lot.  I thought I would be really upset, but it felt very natural and it was beautiful to see how much they love each other.  It was also very sacred too, even with blipping machines, and the prescence of God was palatable the whole time.  I felt very humbled by the privledge of helping, even if I didn’t really do a lot except hang out for a few hours and pray.  I didn’t leave until the husband was ready for me to go.  I felt like that was important.  She hung on until her son was able to come back into town, so that was good.  Anyhow, since he wanted someone who had known his wife when she was healthy to do the service, Wanda was able to reach someone who served Emmanuel a couple of years ago and could do the funeral.  I completely understand.

I also met with the new Pastor at First Church today and we had lunch while I talked a lot about my call.  I didn’t find out a lot about him, but he needs to know about what gifts and graces I bring to the ministry and how God is calling me and where God is calling me and all that stuff.  He asked about my religious background and other things like my family and how long I was in seminary and whatnot.  In a way I felt relieved to talk, in another way, it was kind of weird because I really don’t think of myself as super gifted or graced more than anyone else I know.  I feel differently gifted, though.  A bit unique in the way I’m supposed to guide and nudge others closer the Jesus, but we’re all supposed to do that in our own way anyhow.  It’s strange because I am very certain of my call, but I have no idea how to explain it or why I think I’d be a good pastor, or at least, better than other folks.  It’s just, when I am aloud to spiritually lead people, I feel most natural and comfortable and when I get to talk about God to folks, I feel most alive.  I may (and have) feel like bursting into tears right before I have to lead a service in front of over a hundred people by myself, but somehow, with lumps and all, it feels very natural and right, like I am returning home.  And the assurance I have that eventually I will be a pastor is very solid, it’s just I don’t know when and exactly how it will turn out or how I can explain except that I just know it.

My family is okay.  My sister had to cut her hours at work so she can take care of my nephew, so money is very tight.  I’m going to try to go without anything from my parents this month too, since they’re helping out.  My nephew is still in a wheel chair, but he is home.  He should start physical therapy next week, although with the change in insurance, it’s hard to tell.  My other sister is good; she’ll have one of my other sister’s kids for a couple of weeks.  I think my parents are hanging in there, but my mom sounded tired.  I have no idea when my dad will have surgery, but neither does anyone else.  Everyone is hanging in there, though.

I can’t beleive I go to India in two weeks.  I was trying to prepay some of my bills today but strangely enough, I was meeting resistance.  Apparently, you have to wait until they read the meter before you know what you owe for electric which will be next week.  Also, insurance companies want to process your most recent payment (which I mailed last week sometime) before paying for the next month’s insurance.  Weird.

Anyhow, I’m trying to write an article about the road to ordination in the UMC for the church newsletter.  Trouble is, I’m not terribly bureocratic and I don’t know if it makes a lot of sense to me, so I don’t know if I can explain it to the church.  There are many steps and I am really only working on the next three or four, yet full ordination is about ten steps away.  I also don’t really understand the time you have to stay at each step.  To me, trying to understand the ordination process is like reading a correspondence letter from the IRS.  Give me Elizabethean drama and poetry and I can sound smart.  Give me a tax form and you have to explain it to me slowly about five times or I’m lost. 

I eat lunch tomorrow with a friend from Seminary, which is cool.  I just hope she doesn’t go into labor while we’re eating because she’s due next week.  However, I feel really comfortable around her, like I can be myself and am not expected to be super christian girl complete with super hero cape.

God Bless,

Penelope

Now that I decided not to name the postings, the pressure seems so much less.  Funny how that works.

I haven’t given a dog update in a long time.  Sprite is settled in but barks at the neighbors more than I’d like.  Where her tumor was is now a scar, so it did finally heal up completely after a month, but that big plastic collar thing they put on dogs to stop them from licking their sores gave me several bruises on my legs.  I had no idea how close this dog stood to me all the time until this experience and how close she gets to furniture.  She knocked a lot little things off tables and chairs.

I was called and asked to help clean the parsonage for the new pastor, but I didn’t actually get the message until well after the fact.  I worked that afternoon and then I promised T I would go to get furniture after and it was dark by the time we finished and I just collasped into bed afterwords.  I have to have prior warning for everything nowadays since things are so scheduled.

I was fifteen minutes late for my candidacy mentor appointment yesterday because I got lost in Georgetown again.  You take one wrong street off of a traffic circle and you’re doomed to be at least fifteen minutes late because you can’t simply go around a block in that part of town.  Also, I was backed up because of an accident too which was cleared away well before I got to the intersection.  But the meeting, although shorter than anticipated, went really well.  I just love my mentor, she’s so nice.  Also, she doesn’t get mad if I’m late because I get lost.  Hopefully it won’t happen again and at least I didn’t wander the city for a good hour like the last time I got lost.

I have to see a shrink, okay, psych professional, to get a psychological assessment for the ordination process.  I like to think I’m quirky enough to be interesting yet normal enough to be acceptable.  I’m not nervous about it or anything and I understand the reasoning.  I also need a criminal background check for the same reasons.  It will be weird, though, having someone evaluate your sanity.  I’ve been to thearpy before, but that was me deciding I needed help healing after a couple of friends died.  Oh well, it makes me feel better knowing that the church cares that their ordained ministers are stable enough to be there.

I bought a few books from Amazon.com this morning to prepare for my India trip.    They should come in a week.  I think my computer erased my itinerary, though.  Hopefully I printed it out or Sathi has another copy to send me.  Since my computer crashed, I lost weird little bits here and there of information, like part of a blog and a lot of email.  I also have to call my doctor to see which vaccines I took for Nicaragua a couple of years ago and the DOS website to make sure I have all that I need and maybe get antimalarial medicine, but probably not because it will cost between 70 and 100 dollars I don’t have and Sathi said it isn’t really necessary with bug spray.  Still, one little bug bite and you’re suddenly deathly ill. 

I work today, on July Fourth, but it’s only three hours.  They probably want extra people so at least two or three are in the store at a time even when folks take lunch.  I’m just glad I don’t work any more than that today and I get off for most of the afternoon and evening.

I also have to plan a service for Friday and finish the sermon and get the bread and wine blessed and copy the bulletins.  Of course, the service will be chock full of patriotic songs we will enjoy bellowing so the sound echos through the halls of the assisted living facility.  I better give a peek to the words to “God Bless America” because I always seem to confuse a few lines in the middle of it and we don’t have the words on the song sheet since it isn’t in the hymnal.

Anyhow, I gotta go.  I’ll probably do a family update next time.  The dog is getting insistent and I don’t want any accidents to clean up.

God Bless,

Penelope

Just came from church and I liked the new pastor.  Because I grew up in the Episcopal Church, The Great Thanksgiving spoken during the communion portion of the service was an intrigal part of my childhood faith, so I loved hearing it.  I also liked the sermon because it was all about love and loving others as an expression about how God loves us.  I liked the circle illustration too.

I work today at the store.  I took over a shift.  I was supposed to go to Ikea with T today so we can get an office set for his house where we will live after we are married, but I don’t know if it will happen.  You see, I really need money, so I actually can’t refuse to work unless there is a scheduling conflict with something else.  Maybe he’ll be okay with going at 6 or 6:30, after work.  Probably.  He understands the dilemia.  I just don’t have enough for expenses next month, which reminds me, I need to call mom.  I’m disappointed because I love spending time with him, even if it’s at a furniture store.  I actually love interior decorating, so I like furniture stores and looking at fresh visual ideas for internal spaces.

I feel a little frazzled because I worked until 10pm last night and then had church at 8:30 this morning and my work clothes that I threw in the washer last night, the white shirt turned this unsightly dirty tan color (I guess they flushed the pipes last night) and so I have to buy another T-shirt I’ll only wear near the 4th of July because my normal work clothes have been moldering in the dirty clothes for several days and there isn’t time to wash them now.  Urgh.  We can wear a patriotic t-shirt and jeans this weekend to advertize their t-shirts at the store, but normally, we have to wear white shirts and black pants.  I have one pair of black pants.

Since I read all the bible, I’ve been reading the bits of the Catholic Bible which aren’t in the Protestant Bible.  It’s kind of cool how it interelates with the rest of the scripture that I read.  I’m glad those parts were preserved and not lost to history.

Anyhow, I have to get to work. 

God Bless,

Penelope

I tried to write a few days ago, but my computer froze and by the time it was okay, I had to go to work.  Anyhow, it’s a strange day.

T’s 30th birthday was yesterday and I planned a party for him and his friends, or some of them, anyway.  It was fun and felt very natural to host it, really.  I was surprised, I never thought I was very gifted with hospitality, but I think folks enjoyed themselves.  I know T was happy. 

My sister came to visit this weekend, but she had to leave before I got back from church.  We didn’t have enough time together.  She is presenting a paper at some musicology conference.  She is very brilliant, probably the smartest person I know.  Anyhow, she helped me and T get ready for his party a little, which I needed. 

Today was Pastor Dennis’s last day and they had a dinner for him at the church to celebrate.  I know he’ll do well where he is going, but I’m surprised that I feel sad about it.  Typically, I don’t get very sad about these transitions, but I think it is because he is leaving the denomination and I won’t see him at United Methodist events, so I don’t know if our paths will cross again.  Then, sooner then I realize, I’ll be done with school and the ordination process and have my own church so trying to visit other pastors at their churches would take a bunch of maneveuring and planning, and I’m not always good at that planning thing.  I have what I like to call a creative organizational style.

My car is okay, although I had to get it tuned up as well, so the credit card bill is larger than I’d like this month.  I find money terribly disheartening.  T and I want to marry, but I don’t even have enough for school or even paying my own expenses, and weddings are more expensive than a new car and you can’t get on a payment schedule like student loans or car payments.  If I could sell my place before I get married, then we may have enough, but then where would I stay?  I’m thinking elopement is looking better and better, then we could have a blessing ceremony the first year aniversary.  Or maybe we could quietly get married, move in together, and then have the big shin dig a few months later with family and what not.  I don’t know.

Last weekend, T and I went to a lady’s house and he fixed her computer while I tried to talk to her in sign language.  I completely forget so much of the language, I found it disturbing.  I just don’t get to be around it enough to remember and build my vocabulary.  

Tonight, I’m going to have dinner and a meeting at a professor’s house because we are going on a mission trip to India.  Actually, it’s more of a learning trip, but about ten of us will be going to a Dalit or untouchable community where Sathi used to minister and we will also visit a seminary over there and learn more about Indian Christian Theology and Indian culture.  It’s more of one of those trips where you learn so you can teach others about it.  I’ll have to write a paper about it later, but I’ll get 2 semester hours of elective credit and an amazing experience to boot.  I feel it will help with my contemplative prayer life and how to teach others to pray quietly in heart words; you know those feelings about God deeper than lanuage.  I feel I don’t get the space to do that all too often.  Jesus often went away from everyone to pray and sometimes, it’s hard to do that in our modern lives.

My nephew is home from the hospital, but it turns out he broke the growth plate of his bone.  If it doesn’t heal correctly, his bone won’t grow, so he’ll need several operations throughout his childhood.  My other sister, the one who didn’t visit this weekend, doesn’t have the money for those medical bills and her ex isn’t helping at all, so she might have to sue the driver in order to pay for medical treatment.  The neighbors are angry about it, but what is she supposed to do?  Who will help her with this?  My dad is retired and my mom soon will and they are not wealthy and already help me.  My other sister can barely pay for our own expenses.  I mean, this is a little boy who saved his sister and this should not even be an issue.  I’m so irritated at the situation.  I pray he heals so he won’t need any more surgery.

Anyhow, I have to go to my meeting.  I have to leave now in case I get lost on the way. 

God Bless,

Penelope  

A few days ago, I saw a girl on route one, a very busy street with four lanes, stopping traffic to chase a family of ducks off the road and onto the sidewalk.  I thought of the childern’s book “Make Way For Ducklings”.  The five little duckings were really cute and I admired the girl for being brave enough to put up with car horns and the possibility of being hit by a car.  I watched them wrap around the tires of an SUV and then waddle onto the sidewalk.

I spent the last couple of days reading back issues of the  UM Connection, the Baltimore Washington Conference Newspaper, instead of a book.  (In the Methodist church, a conference is like a diocese.  It’s the church structure two steps higher than the local church and includes churches in Maryland, DC, and parts of West Virginia and also a few in Bermuda.  With the exception of Bermuda, conferences are basically set up by geography.)  Since I’ve put off reading them for the last school year, I have quite a pile accumulated.  Most of it is old news and it’s kind of funny reading stuff about Christmas in June.  I was trying to see if there was any hint of the transgender pastor in the paper.  There were quite a few articles about HIV/AIDS ministry on the 25th aniversary of the discovery of the disease.  However, since there’s a fairly high rate of it among people in Baltimore and Washington and the fastest rate of infection nowadays in the US is in the senior community (those over 55), it would make sense that this conference would pay more attention to it than lets say, a part of the US where very few people have it.  There was also an article about how a college campus ministry became a “reconciling” community.  That would be a ministry or church that accepts people who are homosexual in full membership.  However, campus ministries, even if run by a Methodist Pastor, tend to be ecumenical and membership or involvement in such ministries doesn’t mean someone joined the UM church.  They could be any faith, really.  And then there was all this chatter about these focus groups to discuss GLB&T issues.  Interestingly enough, these groups call for people who are for, against, or neutral to be part of the same group so they can find people on all sides of the issue are faithful Christians.  Something had to be tried because the issue is threatening to tear the church apart.  So I guess, yes and no, there were indications something was coming or a climate was created so a transgender pastor could be actually addressed by the current Bishop.

It’s strange because I know I’m supposed to be outraged or something, but I’m not.  I’m supposed to be shocked and surprised, but I’m not.  This is supposed to test my faith in God and my shake my trust in the leadership of the church, but it doesn’t.  As for God, His grace continues to shower on me more than I deserve myself, so vilifying someone else without even talking or meeting them is very difficult to me when this decision to change sex doesn’t really affect me personally.  I mean, maybe it does.  I could expect some uncomphy questions infront of the various committees and boards I got to go in front of in order to become ordained so they don’t let another transexual become a pastor, just as they scrutinized the fact that I didn’t have a husband the first time I went.  I suspect they were trying to determine if I were gay, which I am not.  But then, they bother married couples who were both seeking ordination too, so they pick at any potential weakness because once you’re in leadership, so will everyone else.  As far as the leadership of the church goes, I really don’t think it was mishandled.  I mean, it’s a weird situation and I already knew the Bishop was liberal, but not a knee jerk annoying one, and I still think he’s a good leader, regardless.  It will kick up a lot of dust and if Rev Pheonix does remain ordained and when they try to appoint him to other churches, I think that will create all sorts of controversy too.  But really, I feel this is all a distraction from the work of the gospel.  But then I think facing the realities of our strange world is exactly what Jesus would do.  I’m just not really sure what to think about it all.  It’s complicated.  I do believe in the mercy of God, and I fell God is not finished with the Methodist Church.  I could see Jesus more inclined to eat dinner with the transexual and then stomp in and turn over the podium at the New York stock exchange.  Are people disappointing?  you betcha.  Do we throw up our hands in disgust?  Only for a frustrating moment, and then we go back and love them anyway.  Is surgically changing your sex wrong?  It’s complicated because genetically speaking, not everyone is born simply male or female.  Anyway, I think I’ve talked about it enough.

Right now, I feel off focus.  Maybe it’s because I woke with a headache and my arthritis is really bothering me today.  It’s the hips and back more than the fingers today.  I should start to get ready for my trip to India in August and make sure I have everything finished.  There’s also a scholarship I wanted to try for and I have to finish the paperwork.  I also have to drop off some things Emmanuel for their mission trip to the gulf coast for hurricane Katrina relief.  I also work later today.

God Bless,

Penelope

My nephew is doing well in the rehab hospital and doing  exactly what the physical thearpists tell him because he wants to get on his feet ASAP, if not sooner.  However, my mom does detect some grumblings, which is understandable because most of what physical thearpists tell you to do hurts, at least initially.  Besides, he’s a ten year old missing six to eight weeks of his summer; I’d grumble too if I broke two legs even now, at my age.

 Speaking of grumbling, let me tell you about my morning.  I went to church, the early service, and then I left to go to Emmanuel in order to see the Confirmands being confirmed.  Well, I tried to leave.  I actually had a flat tire.  So in First Church’s parking lot, I got out the jack and the tire iron and the little donut tire and changed the tire.  Unfortunately, it was raining, both the jack and the tire iron were rusty because I never use them, and I got pretty grubby.  I also saw several people leave with out stopping to help.  Granted, I should have gone inside and asked for help, but I was really annoyed.  Every other time I had any type of car trouble or accident or anything, someone, a complete stranger, has stopped to help.  In the church parking lot where I am a member, no one helped.  Granted, I am capable of changing my own tire, my dad made sure of that, but it would have gone a lot faster if just one person had helped me, even if it was only to help me take stuff out of my trunk and toss it in the backseat.  Which reminds me, I have to clean out my trunk and my backseat.

Anyhow, after washing my hands several times, I went to Emmanuel, so irritated I was shaking, and actually wound up enjoying the service and leaving there with a smile on my face.  So God is amazing in the ways he soothes anger if you don’t just give up and go home and sulk, which honestly crossed my mind.  I felt something powerful in that group of confirmands; I sensed a few leaders of the church in the bunch.  I’d also love to do that rope swing thing they did at their retreat because I absolutely love rollercoasters and heights.  I guess it comes with living in the mountains most of my life.

I had to buy a new tire, actually two so they’d match, and I had a late lunch at Dennys, which is what I do to console myself after annoying car repairs, even though my digestion acts up later.  I also lent my jumper cables to a lady who had showed up at the tire place asking for a jump.  Ironically, since they only fix and sell tires, they had no jumper cables, but one of the mechanics helped her jump start her car.

Soon I have to leave to go to a Baby Shower for a friend in seminary, which I like baby showers, but I find them painful since I really shouldn’t have one of my own.  D is on bedrest now for at least the next two weeks.  The baby is due mid or late July.  I got this really cute fluffy lamb that plays “Jesus Loves Me” when you wind him up.  Sometimes it helps to work at a Christian Bookstore.

Really, I’ve been thinking about my whole experience of fuming in the parking lot while changing my tire.  One thing I acknowledge is it my fault I didn’t get any help because I didn’t walk over and ask for it.  Another thing I thought is that I sometimes look too capable to need help, or maybe I just like to think I look that way.  Yet another thing I thought that if this was the first time I had ever gone to that church, and not as a member, I would not set foot in it again.  But I know it isn’t devoid of helpful people, that this church has a lot of wonderfully helpful folks.  It then occured to me, for a church body to adequately be the body of Christ, everyone who is a part of it has to pay attention to the needs of others and at least offer to help and if you can’t help, then bring it to the attention to someone who can help out.  You have to pay attention and be open to what God wants you to do.  You can’t assume someone else will help, maybe God is calling you to help in this instance.

I have a mentor and I will meet with her this month to pick up the candidacy process for ordination.  I also have to plead forgiveness of the Practice in Ministry and Mission office because I’m late with some paperwork for my trip to India in August.  Usually people are late with paperwork to that office so they tend to take late paperwork as long as you do it reasonably close to the due date and are appropriately contrite.  I really meant to have it in ontime, I just got a little overwhelmed with everything.

I hope you all have a good day and remember that we needed the rain, even if it is inconvienent.

God Bless,

Penelope

Hi everyone,

Well the semester is over, I got a summer job at the Christian bookstore, and I have to run off to another state tomorrow because my nephew was hit by a car on Friday.  He broke both his legs.  My sister is really upset, as expected.  I had my own tears over it too, truth be told.  He is so active and plays several sports, so recovery will be especially frustrating for him.  He pushed his younger sister out of the way and didn’t calm down and believe she was okay until he saw her at the emergency room.  He’s already had surgery.  He’s been through so much this year.

I’m thinking I’ll get him a game, something we can play together, or maybe legos or something like that; he got a complicated lego set of a airforce carrier for Christmas and spent days building it.  He also likes to read.  I may make more trips than just this one this summer, depending on my work schedule.

Dad needs surgery on the vertebre in his neck.  We’re waiting to see the results from his stress test to make sure he’s healthy enough to get through it.

My dog had surgery two weeks ago, but her stitches pulled out, so it’s still healing.  She had a fast growing tumor on her ankle the size of a dime or maybe a nickle.  She had to wear one of those plastic collars because she kept licking it and openning the wound.  She kept bumping into me with the thing and when she’d rest her head on my lap when I was wearing shorts, the plastic would stick to my skin.  She also knocks things over too; no knick knack is safe.  T keeps singing Dave Matthews “Satelite” because she looks like a satelite dish, poor thing.  He will take care of her while I’m out of town.

T and I was helping out some people in the deaf community with their computer problems.  The problem is that T was doing it all day and then coming home to fix yet more computers.  With his new house comes lots of home improvement projects that needed to get done, but he didn’t have time for with this ministry, so we had to say sorry, we need a break.  I loved helping, but I was really a side kick because I didn’t know how to fix the things myself.  I helped translate, although not very well.  I understand more sign than how to speak it.

The Pastor will be leaving my home church at the end of June, so the new Pastor was announced today in church.  He sounds ideal, on paper, for this church.  I have a good feeling about him and think he will help allow for the growth of ministry.  Of course, I can’t get ahead of myself; I have to meet hime first

I got two A- and three P for passing for my grades this past semester.  With all the stuff happening, though, grades are really a side issue for me right now.  I work hard for my grades, but it isn’t really my primary motivation.  I just want to learn as much as possible so I can translate really heady theological concepts into everyday living.  It was an isolating semester for me.

The intership at EUMC went really well, except for the occasional hiccup.  I enjoyed it a lot and will miss some of the people over the summer.  I will work a few days at their VBS this summer.

Well, there’s other stuff, but I have to eat lunch and pack and drop off my dog before I work this evening.  I’ll write way more frequently.  Really.

God Bless,

Penelope